CALLUM HOUSE

25 Jul 2023 I haven’t written since January of this year. And for that I would like to sincerely apologize. I let down my loyal readers,...

13 January 2023 Another January has rolled around, the worst month of the twelve if you ask me. Thirty-one days of perpetual illness,...

8 December 2022 It’s been a while since I’ve written. I’ve been snowed under with various ad-ridden mobile app games, listening to music...

13 September 2022 I make my coffee inside before walking outside. I set the cup on the wall, outside my office, and begin rolling my...

9 September 2022 L. Ron Hubbard published more than 250 works of fiction in his long and impressive career. No matter what you think of...

31 August 2022 I saw a diagram of rockets the other day on Twitter and remembered when rockets were cool and exciting and didn’t make me...

17 August 2022 Depression is a living hell. It’s the lingering smell of dog shit that you wiped from your shoe a day ago; you don’t know...

11 August 2022 Very few religions have swag. The only ones that do are the Hare Krishnas (awesome costume), Scientology (Tom Cruise) and...

22 July 2022 When I was 11 years old we had a school assembly where the person presenting mentioned Jaws. I wish I had more context to...

21 July 2022 It felt like white boy summer would never end. Jack Harlow polluted the charts, Chet Hanks was all over your FYP and Boris...

20 July 2022 I spent my weekend in Paris at a musical festival. As a Brit, I know to keep my voice down, speak French wherever possible...

14 July 2022 That's right. Official domain. Welcome to callumhouse.co.uk. We're in this shit for the long haul motherfuckers. New,...

13 July 2022 I'm in one of those moods. One of those moods where you realise your jaw have been clamped shut for 45 minutes. One of those...

12 July 2022 The British. Famously polite. Queuing. Saying “sorry”. Getting brutally fucked up the arse by the government while...

9 June 2022 I think I might be the most terminally online person I know. I lost my phone a week ago and I think quitting cocaine was...

24 May 2022 My last blog was about my most watched film, Bee Movie. The film I’m writing about now is the runner up in the contest of...

21 May 2022 Two movies I have seen more than any other went on to become internet memes. Thanks to Tumblr, I can no longer take the...

20 May 2022 Escaping your hometown is, I feel, an integral step in growing up. We all know those who stuck around, either at their...

19 May 2022 I was a horrible teenager. One of those pricks who loved an argument, browsed 4chan, watched Christopher Hitchens debates on...

18 May 2022 I’m wearing a Radiohead t-shirt today. I’ve had it for about 5 years, worn it to see them live, worn it to impress strangers,...

17 May 2022 “Walt Disney was actually like a literal anti-Semite actually” cries the friendless smoking area patron of a club you didn’t...

16 May 2022 A week after the Great Monkey Crash of 2022 and I still feel empty. Although I had zero pounds and zero pence invested in any...